I guess from an early age people always talk about relationships and how they benefit people and how we strive to be in a “good” relationship.
I suppose then the question is what makes a “good” relationship compared to a “bad” one, if it makes you stretch your comfort zones is it good? or if it seems an uphill struggle is it inherently bad?
When i was younger i naively believed that by now i would be married with kids, i would have a career – which i would excel in! And my kids would be healthy, happy and kind and my husband would adore me. Flash forward and i am still just as confused about what i want and need from life as i was back then!
Life changes you, that’s a fact. You go to school and you learn about the world, you speak to adults, parents, family and they teach you all sorts of information however no one seems to sit you down and say by the way growing up is really difficult, and it doesn’t stop when you finish High School, in fact some might argue after High School is when it gets real difficult.
Now i personally believe that our education system is archaic and doesn’t teach or stretch the minds of young people or emphasise just how great it is being different and how different skills are needed to survive, instead there is too much credit laid on being able to read and repeat. Now don’t get me wrong in school i was able to pass exams well without studying, i was naturally talented, but it didn’t set me up for life, in fact it may have hindered me as i went on to believe that life was as easy as school, that you just turned up, listened and repeated and you were done!
However, i digress. My original point of the post was to pose the question what makes a relationship “good” or “bad” and who decides? Is it the people in the relationship, society viewing the relationship or the cosmos in its infinite glory and wisdom?
Personally i think we have to go through a number of kinds of relationship before we fully understand ourselves, and only then will we meet a person who has also gone on a self discovery as cheesy as it sounds! Once you meet that person, suddenly things make sense. Such as why you are quick to react, or slow to trust. Why you will accept some behaviours and yet others are abhorrent to you.
I guess if all else fails you can always call your mum and ask her, at least that’s my current strategy!