Tag: relationships

Wandering into your life…

On By musingofmeIn life1 Comment

Do you ever sit back and look at all the hundreds of people that have wandered across your life and wonder where they went, what are they up to now and do they remember you.

I’m not sure why, but recently I keep catching myself thinking of people I’ve come across anyone from the guy who served me coffee in Starbucks to friends from school to dates I’ve been on. It’s a fleeting thought, a momentary madness some might say but mostly just curiousity.

I wonder if they felt me coast across their life in the same wave of calm or if I crashed through like a tornado or whirlwind of excitement, emotion and energy. I remember once a boy describe me as a whirlwind when I broke up with him and I never understood why it was a bad thing. He said I came into his life changed it all about and left all at once and so fast he wasn’t even sure it had happened, now to me in my naive mind that was almost a compliment! Guess who’s an optimist?! I figured it was great to have someone with a burst of energy come in like a breath of fresh air and re-allign it all, now that I’m older I can look back and see what he was trying to say.

We walk, run, skip and slide in and out of people lives often without conscious thought, minding our own business focussed on our own means however I think it’s nice to sit back and look at it from an outside perspective, if for nothing else a bit of self realization and momentary mindfulness.

Anyway enough random ramblings and brain dumps for one night, let me know your experiences and if you’re a whirlwind or wave of calm.

Trust

On By musingofmeIn relationshipsLeave a comment

** Disclaimer! – This is one of those brain dump/emotions kind of posts**

When you’re young you trust without caution, you have no experience of anyone abusing your trust or letting you down, and then somewhere along the journey of life – cheesy! – you start to question your blind trust.

Without realising it I had my trust broken when i was about 9 years old. Seems like no big deal however now as a 26 year old woman i can say i struggle with trust and only recently made the connection. I blindly trusted that no matter what; the family love i was surrounded with was unconditional. Turns out all it took was for an unexpected and tragic event to occur and that love came with many conditions. So many in fact that it was no longer provided to an innocent 9 year old due to the adults own perception of reality.

Seems a heavy start to a post however it’s been playing on my mind and as my mum was recently home again it gave me an opportunity to talk about it. It was only after me raising something else with my mum that she highlighted to me what had happened when i was 9. I was ready to try hypnosis to try and “fix” my unconscious mind because i was becoming aware of negative self talk and couldn’t connect why i was doing it.

Turns out all i really needed was to voice what was in my head with my Mum, and she was able to help me unpick all of the thoughts and understand why I was thinking in that way. It’s the start of a journey but it’s one i feel far more in control of than i did a week ago!

 

-K xx

Relationships

On By musingofmeIn relationshipsLeave a comment

I guess from an early age people always talk about relationships and how they benefit people and how we strive to be in a “good” relationship.

I suppose then the question is what makes a “good” relationship compared to a “bad” one, if it makes you stretch your comfort zones is it good? or if it seems an uphill struggle is it inherently bad?

When i was younger i naively believed that by now i would be married with kids, i would have a career – which i would excel in! And my kids would be healthy, happy and kind and my husband would adore me. Flash forward and i am still just as confused about what i want and need from life as i was back then!

Life changes you, that’s a fact. You go to school and you learn about the world, you speak to adults, parents, family and they teach you all sorts of information however no one seems to sit you down and say by the way growing up is really difficult, and it doesn’t stop when you finish High School, in fact some might argue after High School is when it gets real difficult.

Now i personally believe that our education system is archaic and doesn’t teach or stretch the minds of young people or emphasise just how great it is being different and how different skills are needed to survive, instead there is too much credit laid on being able to read and repeat. Now don’t get me wrong in school i was able to pass exams well without studying, i was naturally talented, but it didn’t set me up for life, in fact it may have hindered me as i went on to believe that life was as easy as school, that you just turned up, listened and repeated and you were done!

However, i digress. My original point of the post was to pose the question what makes a relationship “good” or “bad” and who decides? Is it the people in the relationship, society viewing the relationship or the cosmos in its infinite glory and wisdom?

Personally i think we have to go through a number of kinds of relationship before we fully understand ourselves, and only then will we meet a person who has also gone on a self discovery as cheesy as it sounds! Once you meet that person, suddenly things make sense. Such as why you are quick to react, or slow to trust. Why you will accept some behaviours and yet others are abhorrent to you.

I guess if all else fails you can always call your mum and ask her, at least that’s my current strategy!

 

-K xx