** Disclaimer! – This is one of those brain dump/emotions kind of posts**
When you’re young you trust without caution, you have no experience of anyone abusing your trust or letting you down, and then somewhere along the journey of life – cheesy! – you start to question your blind trust.
Without realising it I had my trust broken when i was about 9 years old. Seems like no big deal however now as a 26 year old woman i can say i struggle with trust and only recently made the connection. I blindly trusted that no matter what; the family love i was surrounded with was unconditional. Turns out all it took was for an unexpected and tragic event to occur and that love came with many conditions. So many in fact that it was no longer provided to an innocent 9 year old due to the adults own perception of reality.
Seems a heavy start to a post however it’s been playing on my mind and as my mum was recently home again it gave me an opportunity to talk about it. It was only after me raising something else with my mum that she highlighted to me what had happened when i was 9. I was ready to try hypnosis to try and “fix” my unconscious mind because i was becoming aware of negative self talk and couldn’t connect why i was doing it.
Turns out all i really needed was to voice what was in my head with my Mum, and she was able to help me unpick all of the thoughts and understand why I was thinking in that way. It’s the start of a journey but it’s one i feel far more in control of than i did a week ago!